Another Sleepless Night.



It's late and I can't sleep. It's 1:30 am. I hate the idea of taking an antihistamine to try and sleep.

Worst part about it is I don't even feel sleepy.

So I head to the computer, put on some music, on random and try and write.

The song it's playing is Neil Diamond's, “If you know what I mean.”

It's one of my favorite songs.

For me the gist of the song is about chasing a dream to an future that was not as it was planed.

To this very day I don't know if I'm chasing a dream or it's chasing me.

All my life I have tried following my dreams. I have eked out a living, most of the time.

Now in my 50's I continue chasing that dream. This time it's the dream of writing.

It would be cliché of me to say that, “Only time will tell of the success of failure.”

In a way the statement can be, and is, a truism.

No matter how I pour out my heart and soul. I can't seem to make headway. At least not yet.

Another cliché is, “One must suffer for one's art.” I have done a great deal of that in my life.

Living out of my car, sleeping on a friends couch, going hungry.

No matter my triumphs or failures in this endeavor, I can say with all convection, I gave it my best.

Perhaps in time someone will find value in my work.

I do have a few friends that enjoy my efforts.

I don't know. I'm too close to tell. I'll have to leave it to the reader.

For now I sit here and bang away on the keyboard.

Hoping my work falls on the right set of eyes.