I feel alone. Perhaps more alone than I have been in years. Do I have many friends? The answer to that is a few. With the exception of but one or two I must say all my friends and family are over a thousand miles away. This town I have resided in for the last ten years has not been forthcoming in friendships or anything in the way of some one I could fall in love with.?? I guess I'm just to different from the local collection of lumberjack wanna be's. Not being a local has it's disadvantages in many was in a small town. One would think that an infusion of new blood and new ideas would be welcome. Such in not the case in this pacific north western town. ??
I have written about wanting to go home in the past. Some of these desires stem from the afore mentioned fact from not being a local. The other reasons are a bit more personal. Perhaps they are not valid to some. However they mean the world to me. The weather and beaches I have walked and roads I have driven since before I had a drivers license. The sent of the air in spring. Friends and family that would welcome me back with open hearts and arms.
Perhaps it's the cold and dark of the clouds of winter. The lack of what I consider culture. No real theatre or art to speak of and all my attempts of creating said theatre meet with turned backs and closed hearts and hands.
One can conclude that this is not that place I and supposed to be. Questions must be asked. Is this just my perception or is this reality? Am I so different from the rest in this area.
At first the excitement of a new place with new challenges was so enticing. Then the reality set in. things went from bad to worse. All my attempts to leave this place have ended the same way. Stopped without warning or care for what happens to my heart or soul.

I will not give up my dreams to leave this place and once again feel the familiar sun on my face. To once again walk the beaches and feel the hot sand between m toes.
They say you can't go home. I am here to prove that wrong.

A letter to no one

Posted by admin on January 20, 2015